2013 Beat the Heat Campaign

It's time for our second annual "Beat the Heat" campaign in which we pool our resources to buy air conditioners for needy families in the Northeast Mississippi area.

This year we will add a very special out-of-state family to our wish list. This family needs a portable unit to meet the needs of their young son. Portable units are more expensive than the small window units we provided last year but the unit we'd like to donate will serve as additional cooling and heating for them throughout the year. In addition, the portable unit will be able to go where their young son is instead of confining the family to a single room.

This event can only happen with your help. The wonderful community at the "Friendly Atheist" blog really came through for us last year. This year, we hope more of you can help. As before, we will have a Paypal widget on the sidebar for you to donate. And as before, we will give a full accounting of the money we raise and how we used it (receipts, photographs, etc.). Any money left over after the air conditioner purchases will be used to buy school supplies for needy children in the area.

Please support our campaign financially if you are able. If you can't, then please spread the word and encourage those who are able. Mississippi has a lot of problems and a lot of poverty. We can't fix it all but we can provide some measure of comfort and safety for those who have none.

Thank you for your support!

Individualism and Parenting - part 2

Picking up where I left off in the previous part here.

"It is like bringing home your math homework only to have a parent give you all the answers - way more time to play outside but did that child really learn how to do the math on their own? Not at all. So when it comes time in class to do those same problems and then has to show his work, he will not have the knowledge to do it. Not only that, he may be embarrassed in front of his friends and labeled a cheater for not having done the work himself."

Sound too extreme?

It happens and I have seen it in class personally. A child became a lonesome and depressed little girl for most of the school year. She was only a little bit better off only because her friends were playing with her again and not calling her a cheater. She still wasn't learning at the same pace or level most of the class was and this required a parent/teacher conference. Apparently, her after-school dance recitals were more important to her parents than her foundation-building education. So what happens when she injures her leg or is physically incapable of continuing to dance at an older age?

Even more damning, what will the emotional scars be like when she falls behind in class, fails a grade or worse - gives up and quits school? With nothing to fall back on, she will now have a hard life and learn the many lessons to come harshly.

Well, as it would happen, I recently caught up with her family and learned why we hadn't heard from her in so long. I had moved away shortly after graduation, as many of us do, and had lost touch with a few of my classmates. This is one such case and I wish that we had kept in touch.

She barely finished high-school, spent a few summers with tutors and summer school over the years to keep up. It wasn't so much that she had learning issues as much as it was what she did actually learn was not enough to keep her up with the rest of the class.

After high school her mother, who owned and operated a dance studio, had her continue learning ballet and work at the studio teaching younger children. This was the case for a few years until her mother suddenly passed and she took over the studio. She struggled to handle the daily operations of the business and eventually had to give up her own ballet lessons after breaking her leg in an accident. This made it even harder for her as she had to hire someone else to teach while she recovered.

These chain of events and the economy downfall hit her hard as more and more parents were giving up on extras like dance lessons for their children. She was unable to make rent and eventually lost the business. This hit her pretty hard since she knew her mother had put a lot into it over the years. Now it was gone and she had no income and no real skills outside of ballet and dance to depend on.

Her father soon passed about 7 months after these events unfolded and that was all she could take. Sadly she took her own life at age 29 because she felt she had nothing else to offer the world and no skills to land a job.

I do not know everything about her situation except what I have learned from family and close friends that were there. I can not blame her lack of education solely for her life's demise since there are to many other things that led her that way. But I would like to think that, if she had been given better direction and some individual choice, she would have seen a different path than the one she chose.

I do, however, blame the fact that she had no individual freedom to make her own choices. She was forced down a path that left her with nothing to fall back on. I would like to think that if she had been given a choice to focus more on education, this would have turned out better. 

I understand that she may have wanted to learn ballet at a young age, but her parents should have seen the need for some balancing of time spent between school and ballet. It seems selfish of her parents to strip her freedom and force her down that path.

Christian Privilege in Mississippi - by "Sara"

I've been working at my retail job for about a year now. The majority of my coworkers are Christians and attend church regularly. Because I'm atheist, I know that if they were to know about me not believing they would change how I was treated at work. As part of our job description, we are obligated to work at least ONE Sunday a month (part of a rotation) so that everyone has at least one off day on the weekends. Of course, not everyone is happy when it's their weekend to work on Sunday because they would like to attend Sunday service with their families. 

A couple months ago i had mentioned something to a coworker about having trouble finding vendors for my wedding (turns out not many vendors in MS are very open to providing their services for a secular ceremony). My coworker had asked why it has been so hard, so I simply explained to her about my atheism rather than lying. She later had trouble using discretion when it came to telling the other coworkers about me not believing in god. The majority of my coworkers were shocked about my beliefs and one of the older women had made the comment "we'll I guess that means you won't have a problem working Sundays then." i had calmly explained that i didnt mind working sundays, but i did mind working every sunday because i would like at least one weekend day off just like everyone else. Since then I have worked every Sunday for almost 2 months (instead of everyone being on a rotation like it was before). 

It seems strange that my coworkers claim that because they're Christian's they've persecuted and discriminated against when in fact they seem to have the upper hand and discriminate against someone who has never made a negative comment about their religion or even hinted that they believe differently.

Christian Privilege in Mississippi - by Anonymous

My X-ian experience: when i first enter the medical field, still in college and working as a student (1980) I had to have a reference from a Sunday School teacher in order to get a job at a public not for profit hospital. While I was a nominal christian at the time, the attitude and ethics of the supervisor that required a Sunday School reference started me on my rapid decent toward a religion and eventually atheism.

Christian Privilege in Mississippi - by "Brownie"

This is what I hope will be the first in a series of other Mississippians describing the pressure and discrimination they've witnessed in this state. A couple of people outside the state have accused me of "bullshitting" or making up my story for attention so I thought it might be useful to hear this from the mouths of other Mississippians. Pseudonyms have been used upon request. - Tweenky D

I work for the feds in MS. I've worked for the State at MSU. Lived ten years in MS, in a college town. Some of my experiences, below, at these places that are actually more tolerant than most of MS.

* A director at my fed lab led prayers, at completely non-religious events, while acting as director. Refused to acknowledge objections from peers that this was not right. No idea if subordinates dared complain. I have been told that in the past, group work meetings were opened with prayers.

* Each year, I receive an official email, from the fed lab that employs me, about the National Day of Prayer. Nothing about the Day of Reason.

[redacted by author due to the unresolved nature of the incident]

* The cafeteria at my fed lab used to play Fox on TV, exclusively, for the first year I was there. Recently, they've also started showing CNN, and there's a channel changer now. So, some progress.

* At MSU, a professor printed his private receipts for donations to an anti-gay group, on a public lab printer, where any student could see it.

* At MSU, another professor attached conversion pamphlets and Bible quotes to the end of professional publications, without coauthors knowledge nor consent. This went on for years. When I brought this up, all this person would admit to concern about was speaking for coauthors without their consent.

* Same professor at MSU, initiated a discussion about Christianity with a Muslim student, whose committee this professor was on. Coercion, abuse of power, even if not explicitly stated.
* Same person at MSU received anti-Muslim propaganda in their mailbox at work, where any student could see it. This person was on my committee too. I brought it up with another committee member. Wasn't going to risk antagonizing this person alone, when they had such power over me.

* Same person at MSU, sent invites to non-Christian students specifically to come see The Passion of the Christ. Totally inappropriate.

* At MSU, professors advertised their Creationism talks.

* Took a yoga exercise class at MSU's Sanderson center, for students and faculty. The instructor played Christian praise music. When I discussed this with him, and explained not all participants are Christian, and we're just here for exercise, not conversion, he just laughed. Didn't get it at all. Not one bit.

* The city council, in my college town, only a few years ago, used to open council meetings with a prayer. A new mayor put a stop to it. For now. We'll see how long that lasts. He's no longer in office.

* My orthodontist's office, in a my college town, plays exclusively Christian praise music. [edit: mistakenly wrote dentist, the dentist has Christian children's books in the lobby]

* A doctor's office, in my college town, had Fox playing in their waiting room. The doctor there told me he doesn't give women who *might* get pregnant most meds because the "baby" might have "allergies". Embryos, early fetuses, are susceptible to genetic damage from certain meds, but we know which ones are what class, B, C, D, X. And they don't have allergies at that age. I'm fortunate I can afford to see a different doctor.

* Another doctor I went to see was going to vote for initiative 26, fertilized eggs are people. This despite opposition from ob/gyn colleagues.

* I wrote to my college town hospital, to ask if they have rape evidence collection kits in stock, and personnel trained to use them. They did not bother to write back. (I was not attacked, wanted to know if women who were would have proper legal recourse.)

While I personally have not experienced death threats, bricks through windows, firing, or the like, I live and work in the most tolerant parts of MS, and still see plenty of preferential treatment for religion, and breaking of the law. Also, I'm well aware I'm white, middle class, and can afford to fight back, and have resources to fall back on if I lose. Not everyone has that.