Monday, March 5, 2012

The GOP Jobs Plan

Every so often there comes a time when I must admit to you, my dear readers, that I am wrong and issue an apology.

This is one of those times.

Like many of you, I have been wondering since the Republican influx of 2010 what their jobs plan is. Since they have overwhelmingly submitted forced birth, anti-woman legislation, I assumed that they had no jobs plan and was just following their Christian Dominionist agenda. I was wrong and I must now apologize to the GOP for mischaracterizing their position.

Stay with me now. I haven't lost my mind or been co-opted. I think I see more clearly now and I want to know what you all think.

I think the GOP is implementing the most sweeping jobs plan in my lifetime. It begins simply with passing forced pregnancy and forced birth legislation (what you may call anti-contraception and anti-abortion laws). These laws will increase the number of pregnancies nationwide and increase the need for prenatal services. Jobs will be created as the demand for maternal care goes up. We will likely need some new agencies to enforce these policies so that will create some jobs too.

Now here comes the brilliant part. Since women will be having tons more kids than they want or need, they will all have to leave the workforce and stay home taking care of the children. This will free up millions of jobs for men who will now probably need an extra job to take care of all the extra kids that they didn't want or need too. I predict that even with the extra jobs needed, their will be a surplus of jobs when women leave the market.

Now, having extra kids is more than a financial burden. It is physically and mentally draining as well. We'll need more police and social services to take care of domestic violence, neglect, and abuse so that can create more jobs. Better yet, we can give more of our tax dollars to churches and let them worry about that stuff. After all, nothing solves our social ills better than being forced to follow someone else's patriarchal religious beliefs.

So, yes, I think the GOP does have a jobs plan and it is full steam ahead. All they need to do is put women back in the kitchen where they belong and keep men tied to their job(s). No time to be creative, no time to think for yourself. Just more time and more need to work, work, work.

Oh, yeah, and time to vote as long as you vote right.