Saturday, January 28, 2012

An Idiot's Ten Commandments

What could be better than starting off your day with an idiot's rewrite of the Ten Commandments? Fortunately, Johanna Heckler of WND has written them for you.

First, she claims that the Ten Commandments don't promote Christianity because they predate Christianity and were followed in all ancient societies. "What religion then do they establish?" she asks. "Judaism? Islam?" How about all 3 in a twisted sort of way?  And I would love to see a copy of these tablets from Babylon, Sumeria, or Assyria. I'm sure they'd be word for word.

But the really funny thing here is that she mentions how even in pagan societies, people have a conscience. Therefore, conscience is built within us - obviously a sign of God's handiwork. Then she goes right on to craft a list of "Pagans' 10 Commandments" that she really means are for atheists. In doing so, she manages to insult pagans and atheists in one blow.

01. There is no God, you may do as you please without restraint. Love yourself above all else. Be selfish.

Well, we can't put that on government buildings because it promotes atheism. The government has to stay neutral. Also, neither pagans nor atheists generally advocate such selfish hedonism and certainly not to the extent that they would have no regard for other people.

02. Graven images are obsolete, but you may worship anything you choose, your appetites, your possessions, or those of anyone else.

Yeah, that's kind of what the First Amendment says: worship whatever and however you choose. And if we weren't constantly trying to fulfill our desires and get more stuff, capitalism wouldn't work. Why does this lady hate America?

03. Profanity and obscenities are the language of choice. Express yourself any way you want to, the more offensive the better.

First Amendment again, free speech. Be glad we have it because I certainly consider Johanna's words here offensive. It would be a shame if she got censored because of her own stupidity.

04. A day of rest or worship is totally unneeded, so heap upon yourselves all the work or play you desire until your physical bodies are completely worn out. Work your employees, animals and machines the same way.

In my experience, workaholics in this area are often Christian men and I think a lot of that has to do with them being raised "old school" that they have to provide for the family no matter what it costs them physically or emotionally. My Dad certainly fell victim to that. But I do not know of any atheists or pagans who actively promote this ideal. Why would we? We enjoy family and friends and quiet time like anyone else.

05. Regard for your parents or their teaching is an hindrance to your freedoms, so ignore their needs completely, curse them if you wish, and arrange for their demise as soon as possible.

Not all parents are created equally. Some are negligent. Some are abusive. Some are so dysfunctional that they harm the mental and emotional well-being of their children through manipulation and guilt. In the happy fantasy world of Christians like Johanna, parents (and parenting) are a blessing and a child should be grateful. I say children should give respect where earned and care for their parents according to what they believe is proper and healthy. But nowhere have I seen any pagans or atheists promoting general disrepect to parents, much less plotting to have them all killed.

06. You may steal whenever you please. Don’t bother to guard your possessions, as others have a right to steal them as well.

Huh? We don't advocate stealing and we don't like it when others steal from us. She seems to be accusing us of her brand of "socialism" or something. I'd love for her to recite this to a gun-toting pagan (Jessica, are you out there?)

07. Adulterous affairs should be a daily occurrence for your ultimate pleasure. You may even steal a same-sex partner from his mate. Satisfy your lust with whomever, wherever and whenever.

Adultery should be a daily occurrence, gay or straight or both? We can do it all day, in the streets, on the bus, in the churchyard? Seriously, this is just absurd. She seems to think we have no self-control and no ability to be honest and faithful to our chosen partner(s). I think she's mad because her gang has to lie about their affairs while we can at least be honest about our sex lives.

08. You may kill your enemies at will, including anyone who annoys you or causes you distress.

If we believed in this, I'd already have taken this lady out. She annoys me. Luckily for her, however, I do not advocate murder. Still can't think of anyone who does...

09. Lying should be a natural part of your communication. Don’t bother to take an oath to establish identity or viability as a witness. A false witness is completely acceptable.

Johanna's already following this rule very well because everything she's written about us is absolutely false. If anything, most of us think we need more realization of the truth, not less. 

10. By hook or crook, obtain what you desire, no matter where or whose it is. Greed is the only way to get ahead in life.

Again, this is kind of the driving force of capitalism - certainly of unregulated capitalism. The human race can't advance without pursuing our desires. Our goal is to weigh those desires against the needs of others. Most of us manage to do this pretty well without any help from gods.

Johanna concludes by saying, "Is this the society we really want? This is what we are getting!"

I don't know what the hell is going on in her corner of northern Minnesota, but here in the real world, we're getting along pretty well and the situation is absolutely nothing like the picture she painted. False witness indeed!