"Life and Death" Over Lunch

WHO WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FAMILY'S HEALTH?

There was a time when I thought that those deeply personal medical decisions regarding my uterus and the contents thereof was a matter between my doctor, my husband and me. How silly! There are others who believe that they are far better qualified to decide what happens to my body and they are arguing their case before the Supreme Court right now. In fact, they are telling the Court that their religious freedom is being violated if they cannot control women's bodies! 

There are several angles from which we could discuss this case but I want to discuss the most obvious consequence of these people winning their case: that employers and government officials would be making decisions about your body and your family size for you.

Your Employer

You can always have another kid.

Think about that for a minute...the first person who would have control over your family size and family health is your boss. That's right, your boss. You know that obnoxious asshole who is always looking for a reason to write you up. Or that dipshit who isn't smart enough to do half of what you do. Or maybe that lazy fuck who makes you do the work and then s/he takes all the credit. Yeah, that boss...the one you duck and dodge on a daily basis. The one you badmouth as soon as you get home. 

That's the person who gets to make your first choice because s/he decides what your insurance can cover:

• Catholic or Evangelical boss - no birth control.
• Jehovah's Witness boss - no blood transfusions - not even to save your own life.
• Southern Baptist boss - no coverage for smoking- or alcohol-related illnesses (those two "sins" are mentioned in the church covenant; abortion is not). 
• Christian Scientist - no medicine for any reason.
• Vegan/Vegetarian boss - no medications or treatments containing animal parts or tested on animals.
• Scientologist boss - no mental health coverage (no therapy, no medicine)
• Anti-Vax boss - no vaccinations.

But wait, you say. There aren't many of those folks around like that. You'll just work for a "normal" employer. Good luck with that! Have you seen the job market lately? All those jobs you think people should just grab simply don't exist any more. It's highly likely that you're going to find yourself stuck in the job you hate with insurance that doesn't meet your needs. So when one of your kids gets cancer and you depend on that insurance to pay for it, your boss might just decide that it's too expensive and cancel cancer coverage. Good luck paying for these treatments and medications without that insurance too. American medical costs are high enough to put millions of people in bankruptcy.

Your Politician

Then there's your second obstacle to freedom: your politicians. Yes, those men and women who are mostly professional liars and fundraisers. You know, those guys that you don't trust with any of your other rights. The folks you keep saying are going to take your guns and turn this into a police state...that's the people you're going to turn your medical freedom over to? The same people who show little to no knowledge of basic biology and have a reckless disregard for facts...those are the ones who get to decide what happens next?

But babies are so cute!

Just think, if I had gotten pregnant a few years ago, I could have invited Roger Wicker and my Catholic boss to lunch and they could have told me how I'd be allowed to handle it. Of course, neither of them would know that pregnancy is a fatal condition for me but I'm sure they'd at least have sent flowers to my funeral. 

Close your eyes for a second and imagine yourself at lunch with your boss and your representative (or governor or whomever). Imagine that you are explaining your family's medical needs to them and hoping that they will allow you to have the coverage you need - the coverage that YOU are paying for. When I think of sitting down like this with Phil Bryant and Hillbilly Joe Blow, it makes me sick.

Your Choice

As I said before, there are stronger and better legal arguments that these cases can be decided on. But all too often we focus on the cold, hard facts without adding a dose of reality. This is your dose of reality: that two of the people you likely mistrust most in the world are a stone's throw away from deciding what kind of medical care you can get. It's not a choice between you, your spouse, and your doctor for much longer. It's going to between the "man" and the "machine" and their profit, not your health, will be the deciding factor.

The Supreme Court will rule however it wills and I'm sure further legal battles will ensue. But the real fight is not in the court - it's on the ground among our family and friends. There are a lot of people out there who call themselves "pro-life" but, when confronted with the reality of the forced birth movement, they take 'pro-choice" positions. We need those people to come out of the closet as it were. The only way that's going to happen is for them to hear from us, to see that we aren't monsters but people who value independence and recognize the superiority of quality over mere quantity.

So if you don't want to discuss your family's life and death over lunch with Alan and the Bossman, then you'd best speak up now.

Hagee Fails on Church/State Separation

The concept of the "separation of church and state" ensures that our government will remain neutral regarding religion. It's the backbone of a secular state; therefore, religious zealots often distort it. John Hagee's son, Matthew, explains...

...and gets it totally wrong.

1. He says it is supposed to protect the church from the state only. This is ridiculously false. A quick read of Jefferson and Madison's writings suffice to debunk this notion.

2. He says it is used nowadays to silence believers at the ballot box. This is obviously false. People will always vote their values whether those values are religious or secular. We don't vote as robots. We vote as thinking, feeling people.

3. He takes the opportunity to equate abortion with murder despite the fact that there are serious legal and moral differences between the two.

4. He ends with a fallacious semi-threat. We have no evidence of any gods, an afterlife, or a final judgment. And even if the latter two are true, how do we know which god(s) we will answer to? Does supporting a secular state bring about eternal punishment? There's no good reason to worry about any of this.

I can't help but laugh any time someone talks about how the American government oppresses the religious - particularly Christians. These guys couldn't be much more in bed with each other if they tried.

Why I'm An Out Feminist Male in Australia

 I haven't always been an advocate for gender equality. During my days as a fundamentalist Christian, I had a definitive notion about what I deemed to be appropriate gender roles. I dismissed many acts as sinful and had some chauvinistic ideals in regards to a number of other items. Even in the incipient stages of my atheism I possessed an apathy about a plethora of social and humanistic concerns.

 Only in the last year and a half have I acquired a a strong humanistic and secular mindset. Exposure to podcasts and news stories elucidated to me controversial issues concerning feminist's and women's issues and remoulded my attitude from one of  nonchalance to a strong concern for equality for all.

While issues such as abortion and access to contraception aren't such an exigency in Australia, gender inequality still manifests itself in most salient ways in this country (such as the disparity of wages between the sexes). According to ABS statistics, women on average still earn only 83 cents to the dollar earned by their male counterparts. Examples such as these illuminate the fact the gender gap needs to be closed here. While many female advocates voice their opinion in this subject, the dissenting voices of males remain conspicuous by their absence. We need to focus on controversies like this to have a truly egalitarian state in Australia where all people enjoy parity. We must strive harder to eliminate the vestiges of an archaic patriarchal mindset.

While abortion and access to contraception may not be of a poignant nature in Australia, we shouldn't insulate ourselves, remain oblivious, not show concern and express our disdain of problems facing females in other countries. These issues have been prevalent in places such as the United States and Ireland (the unnecessary and tragic death of Savita in Ireland a few months ago due to not being given an abortion when it was quite evident carry to birth to term would cause complications to mother and fetus). Despite medical intervention being needed  to prevent the death from occurring, negligence was displayed due to not being legal to perform the necessary operation, which resulted in the death of the mother.

Also there are numerous examples of politicians defunding organizations such as Planned Parenthood and ratifying laws making it virtually impossible in some areas to enjoy access to birth control, contraception and abortion. The lunacy of some politicians is befuddling - they defund Planned Parenthood, restrict access to birth control, then complain there are too many abortions and unwanted pregnancies. The stupidity of some politicians is incredulous. I'm sure if they farted their brains would fall out. These oppressive laws stem mostly form religious ideology,  an ethos that remains the most stultifying and stymieing obscenity to a true state of secularism and equality.

Attitudes to rape remain eerily problematic too. Victim blaming resonates all too much in this day and age as well:. Implications such as its somehow the physically weaker victims fault that when a strong perpetrator violates her. In many circumstances the victim is too afraid to come forward for fear of being stigmatized, is reluctant to go though a grueling legal process or thinks too many people will conspire to conceal the matter. Insinuations that the victim was being "too provocative" or "asking for it." Never addressing the real cause - the neanderthal who couldn't keep his libido in check.

Honor killings and immoral sentencing in many parts of the world are associated with the aforementioned attitude. If a woman is violated, it is her fault and gets either sentenced by the law or executed by her insane family for bringing shame upon them in a shambolic attempt to restore honor to the barbaric murderer's family name. Similar abhorrent attitudes have been echoed by certain Republic politicians and evangelical Christians. Egregious remarks such women possess a biological mechanism to prevent pregnancy caused by rape or if impregnated its somehow a gift from God

Since when are old men with two inch penises and misogynistic attributes qualified to adjudicate or comment on the bodily rights of women. Then again, its no surprise that attitudes like this exist because they are derived from scripture - a book in which no instance occurs where a woman's consent is ever required or requested. Just look at Deuteronomy 22:28 -29 where, if a woman is violated, the rapist just has to pay the victims father 50 shekels and must marry her. No consideration is given to to obvious psychological trauma this would cause the female in question. Attitudes and occurrences like these need addressing. Retaining antiquated attitudes like this need to be eradicated for the betterment of human kind and for progress to a better world. There are many more topics I could address but space prevents that.

For now I will continue to crusade against misogyny and sexism.

"Yes on 26" Starts Off New Campaign by Disturbing Their Own Viewers

When initiative 26 (the "personhood" amendment) hit Mississippi a couple years ago, we documented their lies, misinformation, and general fail. It appears that they are back to push a new personhood amendment because their page is rapidly filling up with the most idiotic and revolting statements people can make.

Rest assured, DFFT will fight these people every step of the way - and not because we love abortion, but because we strongly value freedom and bodily autonomy. We oppose any government attempt to force a person to donate his or her blood, tissues, or organs to anyone else for any reason. Also please remember that the one time we had an opportunity to make such a choice, we chose the pregnancy. We have not ever and hope to never need to choose abortion. That is our personal preference. 

That being said, I want to focus today on a (possibly) disturbing image of a miscarried fetus and the incredibly harsh comments that followed.

This would be a very disturbing image for me as a mother who experienced a 23 week stillbirth if I still had properly working emotions. Not only does it give me flashbacks of my dead son but it also seems to imply that I, as a pro-choice woman, did not consider my son a person in any sense. This is untrue, of course, because I did consider him to be a future person and member of our family. But at no time did I think that he had any legal status. How could he? He did not have the ability to carry out even the simplest privileges of a born citizen - to breathe American air and experience his environment - much less carry out any duties.

Not everyone on "Yes on 26" appreciated this graphic image either. Two women and one man (all against abortion) told the page that this picture was too disturbing to them and possibly to others who had experienced miscarriages and stillbirths. The gentleman even said he would have to hide the post because he couldn't bear to see it. I am not going to post their names or comments because I do have respect for those who grieve. But guess who didn't show any respect? "Yes on 26" sure didn't bother taking it down. Better yet, some of the commentators retorted that it wasn't disturbing or, if it was, that folks needed to see it anyway so they could see what they were killing. I don't feel any remorse for showing you those comments below:

Never mind how this picture makes you feel, sir. Never mind if it makes you relive the agony of losing a child you desperately wanted. We've got to get these icky pictures in front of America and its children so they'll know that abortion is...well...icky. I hate to tell this guy but he could wave a thousand pictures of people dying or dead from horrid diseases and that won't make me vote to force people to donate their organs. Life is full of suffering and it is always good when we can give of ourselves to help alleviate another person's suffering. But it has to be a choice - not a legal imperative. And there's no need for you to so unapologetically rejoice in your fellow man's suffering. Where's your compassion for the born? You have none.

Well, hooray for you that you love women who, by your definition, are murderers. You are going to push for legislation to send them to jail for their abortions, right? And why do you need to gratuitously share these "loving memories" to fight your fight? Yes, I'm aware that the family has posted many pictures online and given everyone permission to share them; nevertheless, do you not stop to think that maybe they aren't making that decision from a good place right now? Do you not stop to think that maybe there are better ways to honor that family's decision than by slapping the picture on every pro-life site you can find like it was a cheap porn ad? Hell, I'm feeling pretty crappy for showing the picture now (so much so that I learned how to hide it) but I can't think how I will make my point if I don't. But you seem to have no concern for whom the picture hurts - you can only think about how many unborns you can save and then discard once they take their first breath.

I don't feel particularly happy about including this picture either but it's so crucial to my point. Perhaps this is a simple declaration of hope but, in context with the other posts, it sounds like, "Didn't bother me so it shouldn't bother you." I get that people need to believe their loved ones are in Heaven but please don't assume that your lack of pain is shared by us all. My mother desperately believes in Heaven but she has grieved for the loss of our son. You do not want to tell her that the picture shouldn't upset her. You really don't.

Here we have the worst offender - the commentator who drove me to write this post. Not only does he feel no sympathy for his fellow pro-lifers who were hurt by the photo but he lectures them and goes so far as to blame them for offending him! I hate to tell you, dude, but unborn babies are pretty revolting. Have you seen one come out? They're pretty revolting too until they get cleaned up. Isn't that why you guys parade the pictures around after all? Because they are shocking and revolting? 

And how dare you tell these grieving parents how they should feel or what they should look at! Does your picture of your dead cousin show him all mangled and bloody or is it a pleasant picture? It makes a difference. These parents shouldn't give a single thought to what offends you or what you expect. You don't control us and you don't speak for us.

I can already tell this next battle is going to be dirty. It's already begun. It's going to compel me to write and to relive my experiences until I have to double my blood pressure medicine. But one thing you won't see me do - you won't see me drag out pictures of my dead son and tell everyone to post them all over the internet to support my pet causes. Not because I'm ashamed of him but because I care about other parents out there who are grieving and do not need to be traumatized again so that I can make a point. I'll tell my story, yes, but I won't whore out pictures of my grief to win votes.

"Yes on 26" and their crew, however, seem to have little compunction about doing so. I guess we'll continue to discover their true colors again as this battle rages on. As for me, I'm not going to post a link to the family's blog or other pictures even though they've given everyone permission. I just don't feel like it's the right thing to do.

Tweenky's Pregnancy Aftermath and Recovery

Ever since my appearance on the Godless Bitches podcast, I've had some people ask me about the aftermath of my near-fatal pregnancy and my recovery. In order to answer these questions more fully and dispel the myth that pregnancy is harmless, I've decided to write an detailed account. Some of this may be slightly misremembered or garbled but it's the best I can do. You may also want to read Nathan's account here.

When I awoke from the coma, the first thing I registered was the bag of platelets hanging to the left of my head. I immediately knew I was in trouble - that something major had happened - but I wasn't scared. I didn't feel any emotion. I remember seeing Nathan, then my mom and my sister. I remember thanking them for making the 6 hour drive to come see me. They looked exhausted and distraught but that didn't register. I was too thirsty to care about anything. My mouth was drier than I've ever felt before and it was unbearable. I begged for fluids but they told me that I couldn't have anything to drink until the fetus was delivered. I didn't care. I continue to beg and bitch until a nurse let me have a sip of Sprite Zero so I'd shut up.

Once I got a little relief (and believe me, that was temporary), I asked what had happened. They explained that I had HELLP Syndrome which I was not really familiar with. I was down to 30,000 platelets (normal level is 150,000 to 450,000) and the transfusion was my only hope. They explained that our son was already dead and that I couldn't have a proper drink until he was delivered.

I told them to cut me open. C-section NOW! My brain wasn't working right. It didn't dawn on me that with such a low platelet count, I might bleed out were they to cut me open. All I knew was that I was painfully thirsty. I argued and griped about it until they let me have another sip. My fuzzy mind spun trying to understand the biochemistry going on. What was happening to my platelets? Where were they going? It just didn't make sense.*

I looked up at the collection of bags on the poles and saw one labeled "pitocin." I knew that one. I followed the lines down to my arm and saw the tubes go into the side of my arm near the elbow - not the traditional place for an IV. I looked quizzically at Nathan and he explained I had a PIC line (peripherally inserted catheter). They had used an x-ray machine to insert a tube into my arm that lead to my heart. From it they could send medication and draw blood without further sticking me. I blessed them for that. I hate needles.

They rolled me over and gave me a vaginal suppository, a prostaglandin that would help me dilate and get this over with. This is a medication that was originally planned to be banned under the Mississippi "personhood" amendment 26. I think that's when I realized I had a catheter. I chalked it up as another victory that I'd been too busy dying to feel it going in. I asked about it and Nathan told me my kidneys had started shutting down and I was passing reddish-brown urine. Gross.

That's about the time I noticed that something was wrong with my vision. I could see spots everywhere, gaps in my skin and the wall. I looked at my arms and realized I was terribly swollen all over. My eyes had swelled and that was causing the weird spots. I didn't care. I was too thirsty to care.

I felt it when my water broke. It was a wonderful relief - the way you feel when you've been holding a full bladder for ages and you finally get to go. They dialed up my morphine but I didn't care. I didn't feel any pain or fear. I felt the medication hit my heart and I remember thinking, "This is what morphine feels like? It's not worth the bother." 

Delivery was pretty quick. There was all the "push, push, PUSH" that you hear in the movies. There wasn't any pain, just pressure. I delivered lackadaisically, really only caring about getting something to drink.

Then they laid my son in my arms. I looked at him. I thought I saw him move.

"Did he move?" I asked? "I thought I saw him move."

No, they told me. You're shaking.

I looked at him again. I held him but I don't remember touching him. I sat still while the family took pictures. My mother and sister were openly sobbing. I don't remember what Nathan was doing. I might as well not have been there.

They took him a few short minutes later and asked how we wanted to dispose of him. I jumped in with cremation. I was adamant. I was consigning my son to the flames. I was designating him as "medical waste." It sounds horrid but all I could think of was that I was not going to let my mother get his tiny body and bury it at her church so that she could have a perpetual monument to grief and guilt. I was not going to let her use my son to manipulate me into going to church. I was not going to let her claim an inch of my son for Christ.

He was born free and he died free. I am not chained to his grave. I experience him every day in his father, in the air I breathe, and in my continued existence.

I spent the weekend in the hospital recovering quickly. Although my physical recovery was remarkable, my mental recovery was far less so. I was considered a very high suicide risk and the nurses counselled Nathan that I would have to be watched for a very long time. Strangely enough, suicide hasn't crossed my mind since that day. I've never had a stronger, sharper will to live. But my life was bought at a heavy price and I'm not yet sure how much more I'll be asked to pay.

Although the brain scans showed no permanent damage, my cognitive abilities have been impaired. I don't remember things very well any more. I don't type or spell as well as I did in the past. I often get my words mixed up or I blank out when I speak. 

My blood pressure is an absolute wreck. Without two types of medication each day, my blood pressure will skyrocket and I will die. I take both Bystolic and Lisinopril to deal with it.

I suffered some nerve damage in my legs that got better over time. I have restless leg syndrome but, with exercise and a massage pad, I deal with it well. It took me a year to fully be able to walk again. I had to use a cane sometimes for the first year but I was damned and determined to get rid of it. Now I can walk around a Walmart Supercenter without stopping to rest.

I gained weight during my convalescence (but only because Nathan fixed my meals and made me eat) and that has not come off. I'm still working on it. Nathan still fixes my meals and rations out my medication. I don't trust myself with medication since my last overdose and hospitalization in 2010. He also encourages me and helps me continue moderate exercise. I'm taking Victoza injections to control my type 2 diabetes and I have a pill I can take to help with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The pill doesn't really help much.

The worst impairment I've suffered is mental. I dealt with survivor's guilt a lot that first year but I never really grieved. I still haven't. I don't know if it was the morphine or what, but my emotions never really came back. I've had a precious few bouts of breakthrough crying but they feel just as fake and forced as the smile I wear. My morality is solely a product of my rational thought; it's something I choose to do and not something I feel. If I were living according to my feelings, I would be in prison because I feel no empathy or kinship any more. I am kind because I choose to be. I do what's right because it's for the best.

The schizoaffective disorder is what won me my permanent disability and it will likely never go away. Although the hallucinations and delusions of the schizophrenia are generally well controlled, I do hear breakthrough voices and sometimes feel paranoia. Sometimes I think the walls and floors are folding in on me. Sometimes I get the feeling that there is still a divine hand on me that sustains me and make me strong.  I struggle to accept these as biochemical anomalies and not as fact. Although my life is better without the voices, I miss them and the richness they gave my life. I take Seroquel to combat the psychotic symptoms.

The bipolar part of the equation has been more difficult. I'm currently suffering through a major depressive episode. I don't feel sad or worthless too much though I remember times when I did very vividly. I do not feel suicidal thanks to my Lexapro. What I do feel is rage. Sometimes it's focused, sometimes not. There are times when it takes everything I have not to slam my fist through glass or the wall for no reason. I live in fear of my next manic episode because each one is a harsh test of my relationships, my abilities, and my character.

And finally, I can never get pregnant again without dying. I'm on the pill right now even though the risk is higher at my age for blood clots and such. Now that I have Medicare, I'm planning to schedule an Essure procedure. They'll take some corkscrews and put them in my Fallopian tubes. The tubes will scar up and close thus making me permanently sterile. Even with Medicare, there will be deductibles and copays so it's a work in progress.

This is my life now. I've lost so much and I feel like I have little to show for it. There is a lot of potential guilt in thinking that you're so pathetic you can't even have a baby right. I've combated that by sharing my story and fighting against both anti-choicers and mental health bigots. I've put just about everything publicly on the line, opening up myself to some ridicule and risk (if you can believe that), so that people will know how dangerous and disabling pregnancy can be. That doesn't make me a hero but it does give me a reason to keep going. I'll never be a shining star in the movement or a big name but I will do what I can to educate, encourage, and support my fellow humans.

I don't do it because it feels gratifying. I do it because I've decided it's right...and doing right is how I choose to spend my remaining hard-won days.

*As I understand it, HELLP causes platelets to clot within the blood vessels. As these platelets form their sticky clotting webs inside the vessels, red blood cells get trapped and ripped apart. So you lose platelet availability from the internal clotting and you lose red blood cells from them being torn up. Hence:

(H)emolysis
(E)levated
(L)iver Enzymes
(L)ow
(P)latelet Count

Is Yahweh Pro-life?

During a recent conversation on abortion on Alan Nunnelee's page, I saw the following comment:

I'd like to debunk Mr. Cox's claim that his god (Yahweh) will not tolerate murder of the unborn and I intend to do it using the Bible, Yahweh's holy book that is supposed to be the inerrant, literal word of this deity.

Genesis 7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

There were undoubtedly pregnant women on the earth at this time so Yahweh drowned an incredible number of innocent unborn with the Flood.

Genesis 19:24-25  Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.

There were pregnant women in those cities too. Their innocent unborns were murdered.

Genesis 38:24 And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.

Judah, and ancestor of Jesus, orders the death of the woman he knocked up including her innocent unborn. He obviously doesn't think Yahweh will have a problem with it since burning whores is the law.

Exodus 12:29 And it came to pass, that at midnight the LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon; and all the firstborn of cattle.

Granted, we aren't dealing with unborns here but we do have Yahweh indiscriminately slaughtering the oldest children of every family. How would you feel if God killed your oldest child because of something Obama did? Also, were the firstborn young children not innocent too?

Exodus 21:22 If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.

Yahweh decrees that the innocent unborn are worth whatever price (in coin or barter) that the father decides and the judges determine. It is not equivalent to a living being.

Leviticus 25:45 Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession.

Again, this isn't dealing with unborns per se but it does show that Yahweh puts only a monetary value on gentile children. They have no legal personhood.

Leviticus 27:6 And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver.

Any unborn or child under one month of age has no value.

Numbers 3:14 -15 And the LORD spake unto Moses in the wilderness of Sinai, saying, Number the children of Levi after the house of their fathers, by their families: every male from a month old and upward shalt thou number them.

One again, if you're under one month of age, you have no value. You aren't even counted. And this isn't some Old Testament crap that Moses dreamed up. The LORD told him to do it this way.

Numbers 31:17-18 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

If you kill every woman who has had sex, you are bound to kill some fertilized eggs, embryos, and fetuses too. Yahweh doesn't seem to care. Oh and while you're at it, capture and rape the little girls.

Hosea 13:16 Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

Women with child shall be ripped up. Infants dashed into pieces. God is intolerant of the murder of unborns? He glories in it.

These are just a few verses picked out to let Yahweh have his say about pro-life matters. I encourage you to read these verses in context and let the full horror of Yahweh wash over you.

And for those who want to excuse it with, "Oh, that's the Old Testament. It's been done away with since Jesus," and all that tripe, you need to understand: you cannot take this view and then quote obscure verses from the rest of the Old Testament about knowing you in the womb and such. If you dismiss the verses above, you must stop quoting the other ones too.

I leave to Mr. Cox and his friends to now try to contort and dodge their way out of this. I'll leave them with a final thought:

Don't be mad at me. I'm just telling you what God says!

Paramount - The Newest Fallacy of Personhood

Paramount - that is how Mississippi HC 14 describes the "right to life." The wording is precise and simple but the consequences are less so.

This statement is a contradiction of Roe v. Wade which states that the unborn's right to life and the mother's right to liberty must be balanced. It is also a contradiction of another fundamental human principle, one that helped birth our nation - that a life without freedom is not worth living.

Let's begin by examining the word "paramount" as defined by Dictionary.com:

If the right to life is paramount, then it takes precedence over every other human right - including the right to be a free citizen. If the right to life is the most important right, then everything else must necessarily fall by the wayside.

My right to life is more important than my right to smoke cigarettes.
My right to life is more important than my right to drink alcohol.
My right to life is more important than my right to own a gun.
My right to life is more important than my right to eat junk food.
My right to life is more important than my right to own a pit bull.
My right to life is more important than my right to die for my faith.
My right to life is more important than my right to die for my country.
My right to life is more important than my right to choose anything.

Who decides what's best for my life and enforces those choices? The government.

And don't think you are exempt. My right to life is greater than your liberties too. If I'm dying of kidney disease, I have a right to demand your kidney. My right to life is greater than your liberty to choose. I can demand your blood, your tissues, and your organs to stay alive - so long as your right to life isn't compromised - and you have no choice.

Better yet, I'll demand stem cells from your newborn. He won't remember the procedure and, by god, I HAVE A RIGHT TO LIFE!

Defining the right to life as "paramount" creates the ultimate nanny state but it isn't socialism that's pushing the pram - it's conservative religion that seeks to impose its will through government since they can no longer do it through culture.

Is it likely that this law would be used to such an extent as described above? Probably not. It's pretty much just a trigger law that would become effective if Roe were overturned. But when we write this concept into law, we should be prepared to enforce it fully; otherwise, we become a state of liars and hypocrites. 

The Mississippi Constitution already (incorrectly) describes the unborn as being a "human being" for legal purposes. HC 14 is an unnecessary distraction from legitimate government business and likely a bone tossed at wealthy conservative and religious donors. Nevertheless, it's a bad bill that has no business being on the roster. Rep. Gibson should, once again, be ashamed of himself.

The Shamed Slut Diaries

If you are interested in my 28 day contraception blog, please visit The Shamed Slut Diaries. It's a sarcastic yet somewhat serious documentary about the monthly cycle, contraception, and other family issues written as a testimony to the state legislators and governor who think it's their business to regulate my ladyparts.

Where Is Tweenky Dee?

This latest round of attacks on women have been very disheartening. Many of you may have been wondering, "Where is Tweenky Dee? Where are all the videos? The blogs? Where's all that work we've come to expect?" 

I'm still here, of course, but I have nothing to give you right now. The fight has asked more of me than I can give and I need time to recover. You see, I'm a woman too - a woman of childbearing age who has some very high stakes in these battles and I'm losing. Let me explain.

Because of the terrible disease that killed our son in the womb and almost killed me too, I absolutely cannot risk another pregnancy. Doctor's orders - not even one more attempt or I will die. We take responsibility for this by practicing two forms of birth control (the pill and condoms) until I can have the surgery to be sterilized. If the unthinkable should happen and, against all odds, I get pregnant again, then I will be forced to either have an abortion or die.

Now I have men and women in our legislatures demonizing me for the responsible use of birth control and doing everything they can to make sure I can't choose abortion in the worst case scenario. I'm a slut because I don't want to die. I'm a slut who deserves shame and disgrace if I think flushing a fertilized egg out of my system so that I can live is a good idea.

I hear them saying to me, "You're worthless. You deserve to die. You can't make any babies so you might as well be dead."

So here I am being doubly responsible with my birth control, yet if by some miracle I get pregnant, the state thinks I should have to have a transvaginal ultrasound before being denied an abortion to save my life. How do they think I'm going to feel, laid up on that table, feet in cold stirrups, a long wand shoved deep inside me and only so I can see the "heartbeat" and form of the embryo that is going to kill me. Because I'd love nothing more than to see another dead child. Losing the first one was so much fun, I just can't wait to do it again.

That's why I can't fight right now. That's why I'm having to take some time for myself. Because I'm a real woman who hurts. I'm a real woman who is afraid. I'm a real woman who is angry. I'm a mother who has lost her son and now all she hears is, "Try it again, slut. We'll get you next time."

Is this what "compassionate conservatism" looks like? Because if it is, you can shove it up your ass.

The GOP Jobs Plan

Every so often there comes a time when I must admit to you, my dear readers, that I am wrong and issue an apology.

This is one of those times.

Like many of you, I have been wondering since the Republican influx of 2010 what their jobs plan is. Since they have overwhelmingly submitted forced birth, anti-woman legislation, I assumed that they had no jobs plan and was just following their Christian Dominionist agenda. I was wrong and I must now apologize to the GOP for mischaracterizing their position.

Stay with me now. I haven't lost my mind or been co-opted. I think I see more clearly now and I want to know what you all think.

I think the GOP is implementing the most sweeping jobs plan in my lifetime. It begins simply with passing forced pregnancy and forced birth legislation (what you may call anti-contraception and anti-abortion laws). These laws will increase the number of pregnancies nationwide and increase the need for prenatal services. Jobs will be created as the demand for maternal care goes up. We will likely need some new agencies to enforce these policies so that will create some jobs too.

Now here comes the brilliant part. Since women will be having tons more kids than they want or need, they will all have to leave the workforce and stay home taking care of the children. This will free up millions of jobs for men who will now probably need an extra job to take care of all the extra kids that they didn't want or need too. I predict that even with the extra jobs needed, their will be a surplus of jobs when women leave the market.

Now, having extra kids is more than a financial burden. It is physically and mentally draining as well. We'll need more police and social services to take care of domestic violence, neglect, and abuse so that can create more jobs. Better yet, we can give more of our tax dollars to churches and let them worry about that stuff. After all, nothing solves our social ills better than being forced to follow someone else's patriarchal religious beliefs.

So, yes, I think the GOP does have a jobs plan and it is full steam ahead. All they need to do is put women back in the kitchen where they belong and keep men tied to their job(s). No time to be creative, no time to think for yourself. Just more time and more need to work, work, work.

Oh, yeah, and time to vote as long as you vote right.

Faces of Rape - Part 2

Continued from yesterday. Please remember that this content is sexual and graphic.

It was 2 A.M. on a week night and I was somewhere I should not have been.  Even though I had work the next day, I had chosen to go with my in-laws to the casino. We were much later coming back home than we had planned and I was dozing off. Little did I know, something was about to happen that would open up doors I had long kept locked.

We were cruising down the road when suddenly there was a flash of white on the side of the road. My father-in-law said, "Was that a woman?" We backed up and, sure enough, it was a disheveled woman staggering along the road as if in a stupor. He asked her if she needed help and she said, "Yes, help me."

We got her into the van and I helped her to the seat beside me. I already knew what had happened. I knew that look in her eye. She was shaking and crying. She gripped my hand so hard that I thought she would break it. She simply said, "Why did this happen to me?"

Through tear-stained eyes and frantic gulps, she told her story. She had been at a different casino just enjoying a night out. On her way to the car, a man grabbed her and forced her into his vehicle. He drove her out to a dark, secluded spot by the river where he repeatedly raped and sodomized her. Then he left her there to suffer alone, not knowing where she was or how to find civilization again.

It seemed to take forever for her to tell this story. I could tell she was in pain but, as time went by, I felt she was slipping into shock. I urged her to keep talking. She couldn't believe it had really happened. She kept repeating, "Why did this happen? I'm a grandmother!"

Yes, this wasn't another scantily-clad slut. This was somebody's grandmother. Lots of older people bus in to go the casinos. Probably none of them thinks that they will be abducted, raped, and sodomized.

We made it to a gas station and I called 911. I stayed with her against the wishes of my family who apparently just wanted to leave her there at the deserted station to wait for an ambulance. She kept trying to go to the bathroom saying, "I've got to wash my hands. I've got to pee." I knew she wanted nothing more than to scrub off the feel and the scent of the rapist. I didn't let her go. I told her she had to stay strong a bit longer so they could find the bastard who did this. The bastard who thinks it's fun to anally rape someone's grandmother...

The last time I saw her, she was in the ambulance. I never knew her name. I never knew what happened to her. But her situation unsealed the memories of my own attack that I'd kept hidden for so long. For the next ten years, I would relive some of my own assault through flashbacks and dreams until I finally got some much-needed therapy.

Rape isn't something that happens just to sluts who you think are asking for it. I happens to little kids. It happens to grandmothers. It happens to women of every age, race, religion, color, and creed. It is a disease of humanity, born of our animal natures and sustained by religions and cultures that treat people as territory to be conquered or property that can be bought and sold.

How is a rape victim supposed to carry the product of that rape against her will? How does one cheerfully put on a smile while her rapist's seed is growing inside her - every bout of morning sickness, reminding her of how she vomited when he sodomized her; every night of heartburn reminding her of the tightness in her chest when he was on top of her pushing so hard; every kick the fetus makes reminding her of his hands digging into her skin as he hurt her over and over again. How is that a blessing? How does that heal a victim who doesn't want to relive her rape? It doesn't. It simply re-traumatizes her.

But, you say, "It's not the baby's fault how it was conceived. It's innocent." Again, this is not a game of "Saints and Sinners" for you to play at your leisure. This is about the brutality of real rapes in the real world. This is about someone's daughter getting attacked at church. This is about someone's grandmother being raped and sodomized by a stranger. This is about women you know and love who have never told you their story. 

You may be absolutely convinced that if you were raped, you'd want to keep the baby. That's fine - more power to you. But for you to make that decision for other women, to force your preference upon them by taking away their sexual choice yet again, is to become part of the religions and cultures that view women as chattel to be controlled rather than people whose choices must be honored. For if society says that it is fine to make sexual choices for women, then it follows that it is fine for men to individually make sexual choices for women also. Such a thing cannot be tolerated in a free, egalitarian society.

Faces of Rape - Part 1

The following post is sexual in nature and rather graphic. I was personally involved in both events and am relating them to you as best as I can recall. I am doing this to put some real faces to the term "rape victim" which is tossed around in our culture without full regard to the people it represents. If you are sensitive about this subject, consider yourself warned.

She was 8 or 9 years old, the age of ponytails, dog-ears, and braids. She had rainbow-striped suspenders and some off-brand jeans because the real stuff like Lee or Wrangler was too expensive for her parents to afford. She had come to this little church with her pastor, his wife, and the youth group for a kids' program. It was fun to get out once a month and see the other churches.

The program was over and refreshments had been served in the kitchen. After enjoying the Kool-Aid and cookies, she went outside to play with the other kids. Hide-and-seek was her favorite game; she had been born knowing how to hide. But tonight's game was chase. A bunch of older kids were chasing the younger ones around outside, laughing and having lots of fun. She joined the group and began playing along, hoping that the adults would stay inside and talk for a long time.

The older kids gave them a slight head start and the little kids were off again, running in formation to keep away from their pursuers. As the line of children turned right, she veered left, down the hill, and into a small clearing. No one would notice, she thought, and she would easily get away.

But as she ran down the dirt slope, she realized that two boys had broken off in pursuit. As the other kids ran faster and disappeared over the hill, she slipped on something and fell flat on her back. Before she could get up, both boys were on top of her. One grabbed her from behind and forced her arms above her head. The other was at her feet trying to hold them as she kicked at him fiercely. It was still a game to her. She didn't understand.

The boy at her back pinned her arms back and started pulling her shirt up. She was embarrassed and alarmed - this wasn't part of the game! Her mother had always told her that certain parts were dirty and should never be shown. Now this boy was pulling up her shirt so that he and the other kid could see her small body. This was horrifying! She struggled and fought against that hand, trying desperately to bite or do anything that would prevent him from exposing her still undeveloped breasts. But her struggles ceased when the other boy rammed his knee into her abdomen, causing her to gasp for breath and making her wet her pants. She had never been so ashamed in her whole life - lying there in the dirt with one boy touching her and the other one unfastening her jeans. She didn't understand what it meant but she knew it was wrong. She knew her mom and dad were going to be furious. All she felt was shame and pain.

At that point, she saw the full moon in the sky and let her mind drift up to it. She no longer felt anything they did to her. She didn't know - didn't need to know - what was happening to her body. Some time later, she came to her senses and was lying alone and exposed on the ground behind the church. Nobody saw her. Nobody came to help.

She didn't say a word to anyone about what had happened. She went home that night and, claiming she was tired, went straight to the bath. She didn't put her dirty clothes in the hamper. She hid them until her parents went to bed. About midnight that night, she stuffed the dirty clothes in the bottom of the washer and hid her soiled panties at the bottom of a full trash bag. No one would ever see her shame. No one would ever know. She did not have the words to describe what had happened to her. She did not know what to call it. All she knew is that mom and dad could never find out. No one must ever know.

A lot of people think that nothing like this could ever happen to them or their children. They think assault and rape only happen to scantily-clad sluts who are asking for it. They are wrong. I was born into a good, Christian family. I went to a good church. I was a good kid. Yet this happened to me. I am that girl and I was sexually assaulted.

Fortunately, I was too young to get pregnant or to even understand that there might have been a risk. Fortunately, I didn't have to worry about whether I could get emergency contraception or an abortion if I needed one. But there are real women out there who do have to worry about it. To take away a victim's choice is indeed to rape her of her rights all over again. If you haven't been violated like that, then you don't understand no matter how much you might think you do. You don't get it. 

Rape is not about deciding who's the saint and who's the sinner. It's not something for you to sanctimoniously play around with while declaring that the victim needs to just smile and bear her rapist's child. It is a violent crime perpetrated against the young and the old, the thin and the overweight, the beautiful and the plain, men and women, people everywhere. It's a crime against humanity - not a talking point to sell modesty or virtue. Most of all, it is not a platform for you to build your forced birth case upon. 

Rape begins with an idea - the notion that a woman has no sexual freedom and can be forced to perform as one wishes. In that regard, the physical act of rape differs from the forced birth policy in a manner of degree, not kind.

(to be continued...)