Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Personhood Pastor Strikes!

Personhood Pastor Strikes!
by: Tweenky_Dee

A wild pro-lifer appears and messes with the wrong nurse. (Transcript below)

Thanks to Lilly Gabriella for making us aware of Xtranormal.com.


Pastor:  Excuse me, ma'am. I'd like to encourage you to vote yes on the Personhood Amendment this November.

Nurse:  Why would I vote to make a zygote a legal person? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

Pastor:  You should vote yes because life begins at conception.

Nurse: Oh really? What's your proof?

Pastor: Well, at the moment of fertilization, a new and unique human being is created.

Nurse: No, at the moment of fertilization, a zygote is formed that has the potential to become a person, or two, or zero. Also, the zygote is not genetically unique until meiosis takes place. That happens some time after fertilization.

Pastor: I don't know what meiosis is.

Nurse: Well, it’s…

Pastor: Never mind. The point is that you should vote yes on 26 because we want to protect innocent life.

Nurse: Are you for the death penalty?

Pastor: Yes…

Nurse: Do you support our military efforts in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan?

Pastor: Of course! I always support our troops.

Nurse: Well, we've executed many innocent people in the past few years and we've bombed civilians and killed many innocent children. It doesn't sound like you're very "pro-life" to me.

Pastor: Now don't try to sidetrack me. This initiative is about ending abortion and cloning.
Nurse: Why are you so scared of cloning? It happens in nature all the time! Do you know what we call a natural-born clone?

Pastor: What?

Nurse: A twin.

Pastor: Look, I don't understand this science stuff. All I know for sure is that God isn't going to keep turning a blind eye to the murder of millions of innocent babies!

Nurse: The Bible says no one is innocent, doesn't it? Otherwise, there would be no need for Jesus.

Pastor: You know what I mean! You know in your heart that abortion is murder and murder is wrong!

Nurse: What I know is that the issue isn't as black and white as your simplistic mind wants to think. Life isn't an on or off switch - it's a gradient. Furthermore, legal personhood is about much more than simply being human. It's about being able to fulfill your duties as well as exercising your rights. How can a zygote be responsible for anything?

Pastor: So now you're trying to trip me up with law. Planned Parenthood must have paid you an awful lot to harass me like this.

Nurse: Yeah, they sent me a potential check and said it's just as valid as a real one. I'm going to cash it this afternoon.

Pastor: You're mocking me, aren't you?

Nurse: Yes, it's too easy and tempting to resist. You're trying to do something that makes no legal sense and could have many unfortunate consequences. Also, the lack of exceptions in this initiative seem very immoral to me. No exceptions for rape or incest? Really?

Pastor: The child shouldn't be punished for the sins of the father. We must protect women from abortion!

Nurse: But you guys are always telling us that humans are being punished for Adam's sin and that's why we need a savior. Also, you guys say you don't want big government protecting people from failure and then you want to turn around and "protect" women from theirs. I wish you guys would make up your mind about what you believe.

Pastor: It's clear to me that you are a pro-death person. You obviously love abortions. How much money do you make off murdering babies? I'm going to unfriend you and tell everyone how awful you are!

Nurse: Umm....ok. Was there something else you wanted?

Pastor: Yeah, uh, are you free to go out with me Friday night? Drinks, dancing, a little fun?

Nurse: Are you asking me out?
Pastor: Yeah…

Nurse: Let me make sure I understand. You support legislation to take away my reproductive rights and my ability to make my own medical decisions. And then you ask me out?

Pastor: Yeah, something wrong with that?

Nurse: Honey, you might as well go home and cuddle up with that big Yes on 26 yard sign because these legs are closed to you FOREVER! Goodbye.